How To Build An Ungodly Household

           I look foward to having a wife and kids. I look to that day in great excitment and with much fear. Excited because I will have my own family. In fear because of the great responsibility that lies within. God will hold me responsible for how I use the authority He has given me over my wife and kids. It is no small task. It is no game. Scripture commands men to "love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave up Himself for her "(Ephesians 5:25). Therefore, it would be wise of us, who are single men, to prepare ourselves for that day. And it would be wise of you, husband, to start loving your wife as Christ loved the church.

Here is an email I sent to my friend last year. Entitled: "How To Build An Ungodly Household" (I did not write this - credit goes to whomever did).

1. Marry an unbeliever.
2. Make sure both parents work outside of the home.
3. Commit your children to be educated by the Government.
4. Leave the TV on throughout the day.
5. Never eat meals together.
6. Never read the Bible or pray as a family.
7. Avoid Godly influences in the home such as music, books, and friends.
8. Do not acknowledge the Lord’s Day. Work, play, purchase as you
would on any day. If you must attend a church, be sure it’s an
entertaining contemporary seeker sensitive congregation for they are
fully committed to your well being without the distraction of concern
for God’s Glory.
9. Separate yourself from your children as much as possible through
Sunday Schools, junior church, youth groups, sports, and social
activities.
10. Strive to be more of a cool best friend to your teens as opposed
to a strict and boring parent.
11. View your home to be just a place to sleep and to store belongings
instead of a foundational place of refuge, comfort, love and security
for the family.
12. Encourage dating and romance for your kids at the youngest of
ages. Help them to “Play the field” and experiment.
13. Friends, friends, friends. Your kids need social interaction with
other kids their age outside of your home. Don’t plague them with
forced companionship within their family.
14. Blur the gender distinctions in your home. Have Mom go to work,
have Dad prepare the meals. This is extremely helpful in eliminating
any sense of Biblical structure in their own future homes.
15. Avoid moral standards in your home. Rules cause rebellion. Allow
any type of dress, music, friends, language, etc.
16. Never assign chores to your children. Adulthood is tough enough.
Let them relax and enjoy their teen years sleeping late and hanging
out at the mall.